It Only Took 42 Years

Damn it's been awhile but I've been itching to write so here I am again. There's been quite a bit that's gone on in the past few months so let's get started.

My job transferred me to Salina for the next year and a half or so and I've been here since July 1. Maybe not a big deal to some but this is the first time I've lived outside Emporia where I grew up since I was 2. Freaks me the hell out sometimes I must admit but I have enjoyed the different variety of restaurants and things to do here. I actually really like Salina. So much that I've got an apartment now here as well as Emporia. Not bad for a guy that was fine never leaving Emporia. My mom and Stacy helped me move in so that helped tremendously.

Did I mention Stacy? Oh my I guess I did. That would happen to be my girlfriend. At 42 if feels weird using the word girlfriend as if I'm talking to my buddies in the locker banks in high school pointing out the chick I'm dating. Yeah bro that's my girlfriend. So are you going to the dance Friday night? Yeah me either. So anyway, yeah, that's what she is-my girlfriend.

I was explaining to my mom how I felt about her and here's the best way I could describe it: she's my magnet. I said do you know how it is when you've lost a puzzle piece and your searching for it and then when you find it everything feels complete? Stacy was my lost puzzle piece and now my life is complete. It's a great feeling.

She's an amazing person. Patient, kind, selfless. I could go on and on but you get the point. She is everything I've wanted but thought I would never have. Didn't deserve. She's convinced me otherwise. She helps me more than I could ever reciprocate I'm sure but I'm forever grateful.

I have a med appointment today. I'm frustrated and hopefully that gets fixed by talking with Derek. Lithium is still doing me good but my sleep or lack of it is back. Other things are back. I've handled some last minute changes the past week better than I ever have in my life but it's the other stuff that's hard to deal with. Paranoia. Voices. Obsessing. Drives me crazy and I hate being like this and it starts bringing me down. Derek will help me.

I try to stay positive and I have a lot of positives in my life. I got to see all three of my wonderful kiddos Friday and I saw Justin Furstenfeld do his Open Book tour. In time I hope to meet Stacy's kids in person. They seem like great kids and I know they make Stacy proud so it'll be my pleasure to meet them.

So it only took 42 years but I have a job I absolutely love, my magnet I absolutely love, my family whose love has no bottom to it including my amazing children who all happen to be adults now and Derek. Life is good on all levels and I'm not sure I've had the pleasure of saying that about myself. It's about time.

I'm not bipolar-I have bipolar
R. M. Sully