So i don't listen to country and I'm sure that's a big shocker to those that know me. Not really. I'm a crank the volume and bang your head kind of guy. I want my neighbors to know that Godsmack is in the house and they will learn to appreciate them too and that Slipknot will be visiting asking with all their friends. You get my point.
So i happened to hear this song "We Break Up In the End" and for some reason i didn't tune out the twangy irritation i usually get in my earlobes and actually listened to the words and was amazed. Someone actually wrote a real song about how relationships go. You date, you let your gaurd down eventually and then realize you just break up in the end.
I have a hard time getting out of that mindset. I'm a cup is half full kind of guy until someone wants something emotional from me then i shut down and the glass becomes half empty. It's going to end anyway so why pot in the effort? I battle with myself and this logic but it has always ended and mostly by me because, well, it was going to end anyways, right?
So i keep those running shoes laced up so i can bolt at a moment's notice but i need to stop. I've trained myself for so long in that sprint that it seems natural now. I'm a constant work in progress but this one is tough. Really tough.
So I'm working on this so i don't miss out on a good thing. So i don't project my past on the future. On the flip side I'm not trying to be a fortune teller and deciding how the future is going to go and shutting people out because i just know it's going to come to an end. Maybe I'll put flip flops on today because nobody can sprint in flip flops.
I'm not bipolar-I have bipolar
R. M. Sully
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