Saturday, January 15, 2022

Mind Full (Poetry)

Mind full
I write
And
More
Takes it’s 
Place
Knee bouncing
Brain
Throbbing 
Downplay
The
Amount of
Feelings

I’m fine
Can’t seem
To make
The
Reality of
The situation 
Disappear
No matter
How many 
Versions of
The story
I play

I
Convince
You
But somebody 
Please
Convince me
Let me
Obsess
Over this
As
Well
Pretty
Please

Why
Is the
Question that’s 
My
Constant
Hold my
Sanity
While
I display
The insanity
Of
The
Situation

Why did
I live
Why did
Others
Die 
How could
I have
Done 
Things
Differently 
Why am
I
Asking

Angry
So
I should
Punish you
For the
Crimes
I’ve committed
So I 
Have one
More
Notch 
Of
Guilt

If I obsess
Then I can
Change
The past
Bleed it
Out onto
Paper
So
That
Time
Ceases
Along with
My crimes

Instead
Stuck
Doomed to
Relive
Over and over
So that
The cuts
Never 
Scab
Leaving
The
Past
To bleed

I love
The way
You hate
Me
I scream
At the
Man in
The mirror
As he
Looks
Back
With
Approval

Glass
Shatters
So I
Know
Which
Me
Is real
Confused
On which
Side
I
Was
Standing

I still
See me
In the
Fragments 
Realizing
I’ll always
Be both 
That bipolar
Means two
Ryan’s 
A hand
Constantly on
The other’s throat

Who is 
The winner
With the
Loser
Easier to
Crown
Switching
Places
Daily
With the
Hour hand
Always ready
To strike

Straight jacket 
Can’t be
Seen
But still
Binds
Just as
Tight
Banging
Head
Hoping
To bleed
It all
Away

Medicine 
Maintains
But doesn’t 
Fix
No cure
They say
Heartfelt 
Sympathy 
Goes a
Long way
To a 
Place
Called nowhere 

Anger 
Steams
From pores
With no
Resolution 
Which
In
Turn
Causes
Anger
The 
Dreaded 
Constant
Endless
Cycle

Swallow
Glass
So I
Answer
With kindness
Slam pills
Before
Mind
Is changed
Steps
In baby
Form in
The right direction

I draw 
My
Paintings
Of pain
With
Words
Broad
Strokes
To
Cover
Every
Inch
Of canvas

Hoping for
Change
Skin
Silent
With brain
Tagging along
Striving
For what
I
Interpret 
Normal
To
Be

So I’ll 
Sit
Watching
Skin
Ripple
While pills
Hit
Bottom
Hoping
Needing
That today
Is that
Day





































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