I write
And
More
Takes it’s
Place
Knee bouncing
Brain
Throbbing
Downplay
The
Amount of
Feelings
I’m fine
Can’t seem
To make
The
Reality of
The situation
Disappear
No matter
How many
Versions of
The story
I play
I
Convince
You
But somebody
Please
Convince me
Let me
Obsess
Over this
As
Well
Pretty
Please
Why
Is the
Question that’s
My
Constant
Hold my
Sanity
While
I display
The insanity
Of
The
Situation
Why did
I live
Why did
Others
Die
How could
I have
Done
Things
Differently
Why am
I
Asking
Angry
So
I should
Punish you
For the
Crimes
I’ve committed
So I
Have one
More
Notch
Of
Guilt
If I obsess
Then I can
Change
The past
Bleed it
Out onto
Paper
So
That
Time
Ceases
Along with
My crimes
Instead
Stuck
Doomed to
Relive
Over and over
So that
The cuts
Never
Scab
Leaving
The
Past
To bleed
I love
The way
You hate
Me
I scream
At the
Man in
The mirror
As he
Looks
Back
With
Approval
Glass
Shatters
So I
Know
Which
Me
Is real
Confused
On which
Side
I
Was
Standing
I still
See me
In the
Fragments
Realizing
I’ll always
Be both
That bipolar
Means two
Ryan’s
A hand
Constantly on
The other’s throat
Who is
The winner
With the
Loser
Easier to
Crown
Switching
Places
Daily
With the
Hour hand
Always ready
To strike
Straight jacket
Can’t be
Seen
But still
Binds
Just as
Tight
Banging
Head
Hoping
To bleed
It all
Away
Medicine
Maintains
But doesn’t
Fix
No cure
They say
Heartfelt
Sympathy
Goes a
Long way
To a
Place
Called nowhere
Anger
Steams
From pores
With no
Resolution
Which
In
Turn
Causes
Anger
The
Dreaded
Constant
Endless
Cycle
Swallow
Glass
So I
Answer
With kindness
Slam pills
Before
Mind
Is changed
Steps
In baby
Form in
The right direction
I draw
My
Paintings
Of pain
With
Words
Broad
Strokes
To
Cover
Every
Inch
Of canvas
Hoping for
Change
Skin
Silent
With brain
Tagging along
Striving
For what
I
Interpret
Normal
To
Be
So I’ll
Sit
Watching
Skin
Ripple
While pills
Hit
Bottom
Hoping
Needing
That today
Is that
Day
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