Positive Positive Positive

A day of sobriety in the books, a belly full of food and a roof over my head. It's as simple as that to think positive.

Life doesn't always go the way I think it should. Hell most of the time it doesn't go the way i have it worked out in my head. I let that frustrate me. I plan days out in advance and all that does is set myself up for failure. So basically I'm frustrating myself with unrealistic expectations. I know this and I'm working on it.

I started my medications again this morning. Thought of a million reasons why i shouldn't but all that matters is i popped the tops of my med bottles instead of beer cans and down the hatch they went. I felt out of it all day. Felt tired. But I'll do it again tomorrow because eventually that will wear off and I'll maybe act like an ass a little less while controlling myself a little more. One can hope anyway.

Being bipolar isn't easy. Its a full time job that you get to take home with you 24/7/365. It's exhausting, exhilarating, consuming, depressing, torturous excitement that never stops it's just a matter of which 'me' is showing up today. It's not easy on those around me for those very same reasons. There's a reason i have a small group of friends i hang out with. There's a reason I'm not dating anyone. Not many people can handle my fun little bundle of crazy and I'm fine with that because my small group of amazing friends i have, i wouldn't trade for the world.

I'll eventually get control of myself again and I'm on the right track. Sometimes i forget that the track is oval and i start running through the football field yelling we're streaking but i seem to be the only one naked. You get my point. I get off track sometimes. I start convincing myself I'm the first cured bipolar person in the history of bipolar that can quit his meds and everything else and everything is going to be just fine. And it is. For awhile. Then holy Hell there goes Ryan look at him go running through the football field again. I need to stay positive. Focus on the positive. Live positive. Positive Positive Positive. It's honestly as simple as that. Why do i insist on making it so difficult? Oh yeah, i forgot, i have bipolar. Stay positive everyone.

I'm not bipolar-I have bipolar
R. M. Sully