Life Keeps Getting Better

It doesn't seem real that I'm on meds I love and have zero desire to quit taking them. That's a huge first for me and it feels great.

For the first time, I'm on medication that has leveled me out plus allows me to feel human at the same time. I don't feel like a zombie going through the motions of life. I don't want to sleep all day. I have energy. I'm working and loving what I'm doing. I have proper emotions. Things I haven't completely been able to do on my other medications in the past.

It's helped me to slow down just enough to not make snap decisions or reactions. My temper has dramatically reduced and the way I react to situations that arise aren't taken to drastic measures. It's not all or nothing, I'm actually seeing the gray areas of life.

I haven't been manic in awhile and as dumb as it sounds I do miss it or parts of it anyway. I loved the seemingly never ending well of energy and ideas. The lack of needing sleep. The ideas burst of creativity I felt. I don't miss the irresponsible decision making or lack of attention span. It's nice to be able to sit down and read a book or journal again. To watch a movie from start to finish.

I've been able to sit back and look at situations I've been thru lately and can actually notice the changes myself which I think helps me want to take my meds. When normally I would've blown my top, I've stepped back and thought it thru before reacting. I'm easing up on my OCD like obsession with time and schedules. I'm noticing change and that's a good feeling. So many other things I could cover that I've noticed but the point is the meds are helping. Do I still struggle with it? Absolutely. But it's getting better and that makes all the trials and wrong meds make the right ones worth the wait.

So if you're frustrated, hang in there. Don't give up. Keep looking for and asking for different medications. Look for a different doctor or psychiatrist if need be. That's your right. You are the one dealing with your bipolar or anxiety or depression or whatever it may be so only you can decide if you're getting what's needed for you. It can take awhile and be frustrating as all get out but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Therapy, medication and surrounding myself with good people has made a huge difference for myself and I highly recommend it.

I'm not bipolar-I have bipolar
R. M. Sully