Thursday, November 4, 2021

Who Am I

Who am I 
Do I even
Know anymore
I laugh
Wondering
If that’s 
Really my laugh
Or if I’ve 
Faked it so
Long
That
Maybe I
Dont have one

Maybe I
Laugh
To hide
The sadness
Like a secret
Locked away
Scared of
The knowledge 
Behind it
Look away
So you dont
See the tears
Trapped behind eyes

Closed doors
Ona
Darkened room
Trapped
With my truth
With my thoughts 
With myself 
Ive never
Hated a person
So much
I say
Out loud
To the mirror

I repeat
The lies
Ive been told
Ive believed 
Only causing
The resentment 
In myself to grow
Easier to stay
In this darkened 
Room with
The truths 
Of
Myself

Walk over
And lock
The door
Dont open it
Lose the key
Wipe the sweat
As I put
Brick after brick
Instead of 
Drying
Tear
After
Tear

Looking in
The darkest
Of corners
Where
I had to have
Lost myself
My soul
Has no light
To shine
No angel
To serve
As guardian 
Anymore

I see
An outline
Of me
Shell
Of an
Outside
With nothing
On the
Inside
Broken
Tired
Lost 
Empty

One foot
Behind the
Other
Losing progress
Every step
Of the
Way
Cursed
Trapped
With my past
Stuck in
A loop
Of reverse

Smile
It’ll get
Better
Is a smile
Still a smile
If it dies
At your lips
It’s so
Easy 
So maybe
You can carry
This burden
For me

Take the
Weight of
Carrying two
Polars
Take the
Noise of
More than one
Voice in my
Ear
Maybe you
Can battle
If what I see
Is actually real

Time to put
That smile on
Finish zipping
Up
The skin
Of what I’m 
Suppose to
Be
While covering
The uncomfortable 
Truth
Of who i
Actually am





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