If you've ever been one to go to the bar and you pay with a card, they'll ask if you want to close it or keep it open. Of course the logical answer is to keep it open unless you're a one and done kind of person. Or i just had a huge problem with alcohol but we'll discuss that at another time.
I feel like my life has been like this. It's a double-edged sword at times but that's, well, life. The negative of that is when people can't or won't forgive things I've done. I'm not saying i blame them or fault them for it because i have done some terrible things in my life and maybe i don't deserve forgiveness but i don't like that feeling of the tab being left open. I don't like it being able to be added to. My nature wants it to be resolved and fixed but that's not fair to the person that hasn't been able to let go of it. There inlies the struggle.
The flip side is it still leaves room for healing and forgiveness. It leaves the tab open for my friends and family that make me feel like a person to keep helping me feel that way. It helps expand upon good things. Now that's an awesome open tab.
I think i need to learn to go ahead and close some of those tabs out. To just let go and focus on the ones that should remain open. The healthy and fulfilling one's. The productive ones. Easier said than done but it's a work in progress. So next time life asks if I'd like to keep this one open, i hope i have the courage and the knowledge to give the right answer.
I'm not bipolar-I have bipolar
R. M. Sully
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