Another night of waking up at 1 in the morning with way too much energy zero need for more sleep. I go to med clinic on Wednesday so maybe they'll get this figured out. I'm trying to keep an open mind and not get frustrated. I feel manic but it's not the fun kind it's more the med-induced kind. Big difference.
Some good news and something I'm proud of is I've been asked to be on the Board of Directors for Beacon for Hope and i have accepted and am honored. What a powerful organization that is making a difference in Emporia and am thankful to get to aide Melissa Kurtenbach and the rest of the board in any way possible. I'll be the lived experience speaker September 15th at Jones Park for the walk which still blows my mind. She has also humbled me beyond words by having artists paint their interpretations of my poetry and having it published as a book to be available at functions. I have not enough words in my vocabulary to express my gratitude and admiration for her and this organization.
So obviously good things are happening in my life and it feels good. I was getting down because i have a hernia and will be having surgery which means I'll be confined to bed and not getting out. I was upset but needed to start looking at the positives in my life. I have two amazing daughters and a son, i have Julie and her two kids that put a smile on my face every day, i have a mom that supports me beyond what any mom should be expected to. I have a big brother and sis-in-law that love me unconditionally and two neices that i adore beyond words. I have a lot to be thankful for.
It's easy to get caught up in the negative, especially in the wee hours of morning when it's me, myself and I keeping each other company. Negativity can become addictive and spreads like wildfire if allowed to. I'm learning to extinguish that crap. Meds are helping along with a great support system. I no longer try to do this on my own. I talk about what I'm feeling and how I'm feeling. I reach out. I don't keep people in the dark or push them away as hard anymore. Julie has been a huge help with that...but it was a struggle. She didn't give up and I'm forever grateful for that.
So my challenge to you is to talk. Just talk. If something is bothering you- reach out. If you're depressed-ask for help. If you think life isn't worth living anymore then i beg you to realize you are important, special, loved and your life is worth saving. Get in touch with Beacon for Hope and they can give you all available resources. Call 800-273-TALK. Fight and keep fighting.
800-273-TALK
Beacon for Hope
Keep fighting the fight and realize you are not alone. Regardless of what you think YOU are NOT ALONE!!
Have a great week everyone and think of one positive thing in your life and let it grow from there.
I'm not bipolar-I have bipolar
R. M. Sully
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