I Need Sleep Or This Dream Really Needs To End

45 minutes. That's a decent amount of time for quite a few things. Exercising, time spent waiting on hold...numerous things except total amount of sleep for the night. Not so much.

For some reason my brain decided to go on OT last night and if would share its paycheck with me it might be worth it. But I've never seen a dime so i won't hold my breath. I got in this obsessing mode and man i got things figured out and it was happy thoughts but sleeping makes me happy too.

I was thinking about the future and it looks bright and fills me with an all-consuming happiness but i guess i really needed to start hammering all the details out once the sun went down. I must do my best thinking from 10pm on. I'll need to see if i can switch shifts because I'm not cut out for this one anymore.

My relationship looks bright and that's going great. I looked into some different options for careers I'm interested in and how i can achieve that. Then i sat there and played out every combination of scenarios on how it would turn out. Crazy, right? Maybe. Ok yes it is but I'm not sure how to stop doing something that comes so automatic.

I feel I've gotten my temper under better control. Yesterday i had a minor setback with that one but i still feel i handled it better than that former self would have. That former self wasn't a very good guy and i like me so I'll do whatever it takes to keep liking me. I feel I'm getting my OCD tendencies under better control minus the obsessing. That's good. Lots of positives going on. I use my words with people instead of shutting down and escaping into my head. Never escape into my head if you have a chance. Sushi is amazing but you're not going to buy it from a gas station so think of being inside my head as gas station sushi.

So hopefully tonight is better. I've got things to do today, dinner with my mom then Men's Group so hopefully I'll be so tired once that's all done that i can finally get some shut eye. Hope you all have a good day and stay safe.

I'm not bipolar-I have bipolar
R. M. Sully