Have you ever been called an a**hole? I mean when you ready think about it, that's a very descriptive, disgusting thing to be called but man if the shoe fits i suppose i must wear it. Now I'm trying to get that descriptive, disgusting visual out of my head and I'm sure you are too. Good morning and you're welcome.
I hate negativity. I don't like attention seeking behavior. The kind of behavior witnessed on Facebook...you know what I'm talking about. The 'ugh' posts. Literally just says 'ugh' and then it's followed by silence from the person that posted it as they sit at home hitting refresh to see how many people care that they're having an 'ugh' day. The 'please pray because something absolutely horrible happened and the curiosity will drive you insane but i will only respond with um i can't talk about it on here, duh' post. You must be stripped of your fingers so you can no longer type such stupidity. The dreaded YouTube videos of sad songs hinting at being demolished and life may or may not be worth sticking around for. Yes 'Everbody Hurts' sometimes but now i want to punch you in the face to make YOU hurt sometimes.
Now before you quit reading thinking I'm off my meds and the old Ryan has come bubbling to the surface i want to let you in on a secret i was told once and it punched ME in the face. If you find something extremely irritating in someone it's probably because you have the same quality or characteric inside of yourself. Well screw that I've never made a vague, attention-seeking po...i mean my situation was different. At least I've never been that guy that posted a sad YouTube vid...but no one has ever experienced sadness like i was that day. I'm 100% sure I've never wanted to kill myse...well son of a...
It's been hard but now i see those posts and i try to offer encouragement because when i did that kind of thing that's all i was after but from the safety of Facebook where i didn't have to actually talk face to face with someone and be vulnerable to the 'suck it up' or 'i don't have time to meet but you'll be fine' pep talk. The sad songs may be the last cry for help for that person and maybe one nice comment is enough for them to decide today is worth seeing thru because someone took the time to ask if they're doing ok. I put myself in their place because as bad as i hate to admit it, I've been in their place.
It's easy to judge and it's really easy, for me anyway, to be an a**hole towards those that make me self-reflect and see the things I've done that makes me relate to the very thing they're doing that pisses me off. It's a lot easier to roll my eyes and keep scrolling while muttering under my breath how pathetic they are but i need to remind myself I'm sitting on the very thing that describes exactly how I'm acting. One quick 'are you doing ok' takes a lot less time than texting my buddy about how judgemental i can be towards someone. So i guess my question to you is...Are you doing ok?
I'm not bipolar-I have bipolar
R. M. Sully
I agree completely with this post. Funny I was just talking with my sister about the same thing prior to reading this. I actually have limited Facebook use to weekends because the stress I get from reading said posts is irritating and that may be because I too have posted several self pity posts but living in the moment has helped me immensely. Love reading your stuff by the way.
ReplyDeleteThanks brother. I catch myself being judgemental and have to give myself a nice reality check from time to time.
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